1、读后续写示例与写作训练9【写作示例】【原文呈现】阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。The passengers on the bus watched sympathetically as the attractive young woman with a white walking stick made her way carefully up the steps. She paid the driver and, found the seat hed told her was empty. Then she settled in and rested her sti
2、ck against her leg.It had been a year since Susan became blind. Due to a medical misdiagnosis(误诊), she was suddenly thrown into a world of darkness and frustration. And all she had to depend on was her husband, Mark.Mark was an Air Force officer. When she first lost her sight, he watched her sink in
3、to hopelessness and was determined to help he gain the confidence.Finally, Susan felt ready to return to her job, but how would she get there? She was now too frightened to get around the city by herself. So, Mark drove her to work each day, even though they worked at opposite ends of the city.At fi
4、rst, this comforted Susan. Soon, however, Mark realized the necessity for Susan to become independent and wanted her to start taking the bus again. Just as expected, Susan was afraid of this idea. But Make promised Susan that he would ride the bus with her until she got the hang of it.For two weeks,
5、 Mark, in military uniform accompanied Susan to and from work each day. He taught her how to rely on her other senses, specifically her hearing, to tell where she was and how to adapt to her new surroundings.At last, Susan decided that she was ready to try on her own. Monday morning arrived, and bef
6、ore she left, she hugged Mark. Her eyes was filled with tears of gratitude for his patience and love. She said good-bye, and for the first time, they went their separate ways.Each day went perfectly, and Susan had never felt better. She made it.On Friday morning, Susan took the bus to work as usual.
7、 As she was paying for the bus fare, the driver said, “Lady, I sure do envy you.” (340 words)注意:1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右;2. 应使用5个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语;3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语以为你写好;4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。Paragraph 1: Curious, she asked the driver, “Why do you say that you envy me?”_Paragraph 2: Tears of happiness po
8、ured down Susans cheeks._【思维路径】核心内容 文本主要内容为:一位女士因失明而感到沮丧与绝望,丈夫陪伴她重建自信。在她害怕独自出门时,她丈夫每天开车接送她上下班。为了让她重新独立起来,她丈夫说服她重新坐公交车上班。一开始,他陪她一同坐公交车,教她学会用其他的感官去判断位置。两周后,女士决定独自出行,一切都很顺利。在第五天早上上车之后,司机表达了对她的羡慕。写作思路(1)明确故事人物关系(characters)。故事中主要人物为失明的女士Susan,她的丈夫Mark以及公交车司机。(2)理清故事主要事件(events)。丈夫陪失明的妻子每天坐公交车上下班两周后,妻子开始
9、自己坐公交车。在她独自出行的第五天,公交车司机表达了对她的羡慕。(3)根据已知人物、事件及续写段落首句预测故事发展(development)。故事总体的发展应该是司机告诉Susan羡慕她的原因。因为司机叙述的这个原因,Susan流下了幸福的眼泪。可以结合前文表达的Mark对Susan的耐心与爱,预测这个原因可能是因为Mark每天都在暗中跟着Susan上下班,为了保证她的安全。续写第一段:Susan问司机为何羡慕她,司机告诉她羡慕她的原因是因为她有一个非常爱她的人。他看到她丈夫每天都看着她坐公交车安全到达办公室才离开,表达了对她浓浓的爱意。续写第二段:Susan听完之后流下了幸福的眼泪。或许她回
10、忆起Mark一直以来对她的爱和照顾,并因此而感到幸福与感动;或许她开始想象回想这一周上班的经历,回忆着Mark在周围暗中关注她的迹象;也有可能她回家后表达了对Mark所做的一切的感动,表达了她的幸运与对丈夫的爱。(4)结合下划线词罗列写作要点(points)。结合下划线词和文本内容,展开尽可能丰富的想象,罗列出尽可能多的故事发展情节。例如,第一段可以通过问以下问题来获取写作要点“Why did the driver envy Susan? What would be the possible answer? What would the driver say? Did it have anyt
11、hing to do with Susans husband, Mark? 等”;第二段可以问以下问题来获取写作要点:What would Susan think? What might be her futher reaction? What would she do? 等”。参考范文Curious, she asked the driver, “Why do you say that you envy me?” The driver responded, “It must feel good to be taken care of and protected like you are.”
12、Confused, Susan asked again, “What do you mean?” The driver explained, “Well, you know, every morning for the past week, a fine looking gentleman in a military uniform has been standing across the corner watching you as you get off the bus. He makes sure you cross the street safely and he watches un
13、til you enter your office building. Then he blows you a kiss and walks away. You are a lucky lady.”Tears of happiness poured down Susans cheeks. Although she couldnt see him with her eyes, she had always felt that Mark was just there. She was such a lucky and happy lady, for her husband had given he
14、r a gift more powerful than sight, a gift that she could feel and didnt need to seethe gift of love that can bring light where there is darkness. (150 words)范文解析范文围绕文章的内容进行了合情合理的拓展。给出的两段开头分别为Susan 好奇地问司机为何羡慕她,以及Susan留下幸福的眼泪。因此第一段主要写司机对Susan的这一问题进行回答,而这一原因是Susan的丈夫为确保安全而每天暗暗陪伴她上班,因而让Susan流下了幸福的眼泪。第二段
15、写Susan知道之后的心理活动,包括回顾这几天坐公交车有被陪伴的感觉,以及对丈夫的这种无微不至的爱的感动。范文最后一句写了这份爱“照亮”了Susan黑暗的世界,既与她失明这一事实想结合,又升华了主题。提炼归纳1. 合理拓展情节读后续写首先要读通给定文本,把握故事的人物和事件。在此基础上根据提示对故事的发展作出合情合理又合乎逻辑的预测。为了将预测过程显性化,可以通过设问的方式,将预测重点以问题的方式显示出来,以利后续写作时的心理整理和语言组织。在该练习中,我们通过7个问题来拓展并整理自己的写作思路,这7个问题以“司机羡慕Susan的原因”以及“Susan由此做出的反应”为主体,之间有一定的逻辑关
16、系,符合故事发展的合理结局。2. 有效运用衔接手段在具体的写作过程中我们要对罗列的要点进行筛选和整合,还要考虑写作要点之间连接手段(connectives)的有效运用,例如在范文中,我们用了“until”,“although”,“for”等连词,使得小句间的逻辑关系更清晰明了,文章更加连贯。同时,我们也使用了“waching ”和“confused”这样的非谓语动词结构作伴随状语和原因状语,使得行文更加流畅,语言更加地道。【写作演练】1.阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。At Danas yard sale, Tim chose a baseball from the
17、 toys spread on the card table and asked about the price. Dana told him everything was a quarter except Nezumi, a cotton toy rat. It was grey with some cotton sticking out from the hole where an ear had been torn off.“Nezumi is extra special, so he is ten dollars. He needs a safe new home.” Dana sig
18、hed. Tim laughed saying he didnt have ten dollars. Dana laughed too and gave Nezumi to Tim as a free gift because he was her friend. When Tim whispered it was sort of old, Dana said old toys were the best. She then invited Tim to her birthday party the next evening, adding that her parents were givi
19、ng her a real rat for her birthday. Tim was amazed and asked if it was a live rat.“Of course.” Dana said.At home, Tims mother showed him the gift she had bought for Dana. It was a knitting spool(针织线轴) shaped like a mushroom. Mom said Dana could knit a scarf for her doll. Tim sighed that Dana wasnt a
20、 knitting kind of person but a rat kind of person. Mom laughed after knowing what had happened. Together they drove to the pet store, where Tim searched and searched and selected a clear plastic ball, one in which the rat could run around on the floor safe from cats and dogs. Tim thought of Nezumis
21、ear and decided Danas new rat would need this ball.The next day, Dana brought cupcakes to class. When she handed a cupcake to Tim, she asked if Tim brought Nezumi to school as Nezumi liked to ride in backpacks. Tim was at a loss because Nezumi was at home on his bed. Then Dana asked what gift he was
22、 giving her. Tim replied it was a surprise. In silence they sat for a while before he heard Dana say her parents were giving her a new bike for her birthday instead of a live rat because they thought rats would bite things.注意:1. 所续写的短文词数应为 150 左右;2. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;Para 1:At home that afternoon
23、, Tim stared at the plastic rat ball._Para 2:All of a sudden, he had an idea._2.阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。Every night after dinner, my grandparents would turn on TV for the 6 oclock news. No matter how hard I tried to act the grown-up and watch with them, I would inevitably(不可避免地) get distracted
24、 until 6:30 when Wheel of Fortune came on.My grandma would play along, trying to guess the answers before the players. Her shouts of excitement when she succeeded could be heard across the house.As I grew older, my love of reading and writing blossomed, and I would join my grandma in yelling out let
25、ters. Soon, I was experiencing the thrill of solving the puzzles faster than the contestants(选手) and even my grandma. I was hooked.Due to constant moving around with my mom and father, I started to spend less time with my grandparents, but our bond remained strong. My grandparents provided me with t
26、he stability, love and support that I desperately needed when I grew up. When I was in a bad mood, I would remember those sweet nights.A few years later, I was living with my grandpa in Chicago. While watching an episode(集) of Wheel of Fortune, we had a wave of nostalgia(怀旧). With application, I did
27、nt think much of it until I received a mail months later, announcing that the Wheel of Fortune casting team would come to Chicago. In order to be considered for an in-person audition(试演), applicants would need to submit a sixty-second video explaining why they wanted to be a contestant.All my childh
28、ood memories of watching the show came flooding back, and I knew I was meant to spin(旋转) the wheel for real. Immediately, I recorded a video and submitted it. A couple of weeks later, I received an e-mail inviting me to audition in person. I was very nervous on the audition day. I couldnt believe I
29、was trying out for Americas Game! After two rounds of intense auditioning, with half of the hopefuls letting go after the first round, it was over. All of us applicants were told we would receive a letter in the mail within two weeks if we were selected.注意:所续写短文的词数应为 150 左右;2. 至少使用 5 个短文中标有下划线的关键词语;
30、3. 续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;4. 续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语Paragraph 1:I ran to the mailbox every day but there was nothing._Paragraph 2:Then one morning while getting ready for work, I checked my mail and let out the loudest scream ever._3.阅读下面短文,根据所给情节进行续写,使之构成一个完整的故事。When she looked around her house, Betty
31、 Margaret saw lots of electronics. Along with the usual things like her laptop and smart phone, there were all of her kids electronic devices: cell phones, video game devices and more! There seemed to be more than enough ways for her and her three children to be online all day, every day. Ms. Margar
32、et worried that her kids were becoming too dependent on the Internet and electronics. Then she began to reread one of her favorite books, Henry Thoreaus Walden, which gave Ms. Margaret an idea. Thoreau spent 2 years in a simple cabin without running water, and having to grow his own food. Maybe she
33、and her family could live without such luxuries as computers and electronic devices for a while. Ms. Margaret talked with her kids and explained that she wanted the family to try living for 6 months without the Internet, cell phones, TV, and video games. Ms. Margaret writes articles for a newspaper
34、in Australia, and had written several books as well. She told her children that if they agreed, she would write a book about their experience and they could go on a trip abroad with the money from sales of the book. Her three children agreed, and “the experiment,” as Ms. Margaret called, began. Over
35、 the course of the experiment, the Margaret children had different reactions to life without electronics. Before the experiment began, Anni, the eldest of the children, read books more than her younger brother and sister. She therefore had a relatively easy adjustment to the familys new lifestyle. A
36、nni could also use the librarys computer for her homework. Bill, who loved to play video games before the experiment began, had to find a way to spend all of his new free time. He started to spend more time practicing his saxophone (萨克斯管). Susan, the youngest child in the family, had the hardest tim
37、e adjusting to life without electronics. She felt restless for the first weeks and later, influenced by her elder sister, gradually began to find interest in the novel experiences brought by various books. 注意:1.所续写短文的词数应为150左右;2.应使用5个以上短文中标有下划线的关键词语;3.续写部分分为两段,每段的开头语已为你写好;4.续写完成后,请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词语。Pa
38、ragraph 1:The family carried on with the experiment for the 6 months without technology controlling their lives._Paragraph 2:Ms. Margaret wrote the book she had planned. _4.阅读下面材料,根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段,使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为 150 左右。I was lacking in everything needed to start a new friendship.My parents mov
39、ed to the town when they decided to look for new jobs but they didnt realize I was really hurt when I said goodbye to my old friends. It felt awful to be a new student in the school and when my classmates were chatting, what I could do was to be caught up in my thoughts watching the clouds outside t
40、he window. I was not good at math or history; nor was I good at drawing or dancing. I was shy and timid. I had a few friends back at my hometown and it seemed that they were the only ones who I could be friends with for my whole life. I felt I had achieved a point of saturation with regard to having
41、 friends and I could make no further addition to my friend list. I was ashamed of myself, so I believed I deserved no notice from others until Emily came to my world.Emily was fearless, outspoken and easy to go. She was everything I was not and I was too shy to come out of my shell. I met Emily in s
42、chool almost every day and yet I never talked to her. We were in the same class but we were like poles apart. How I wished I could be like her or at least be a friend of hers!It was another ordinary day.I wandered to the bus stop in the morning and waited for the school bus. Birds were singing songs
43、 with their friends but who could I sing songs with? I got on the bus and went straight to my usual seat, complaining in a low voice about getting up early and going to school like every other day, and about how things were going to be the same all over again. Little did I realize something differen
44、t would happen that day.Para. 1:When I got up to get down the bus, my schoolbag was stuck in the armrest. _Para. 2:I got noticed by Emily, who brought me courage to start a new friendship!_5.阅读下面材料, 根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段, 使之构成一篇完整的短文。The Meredith family lived in a small community. As the economy was in decline, some people in the town had lost their jobs. Many of their families were struggling to make ends meet. People were trying to help each other