1、概要写作示例与写作训练9【写作示例】【原文呈现】阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Studies have shown that children from poor families have more difficulty in school than other boys and girls. Children with higher socioeconomic roots seem better prepared and perform better on school tests.Now, American researchers may have found a
2、biological reason for that difference. They found differences in the brains of students who had lowstandardized test scores. Their brains had less gray matterand theirtemporal lobes(颞叶)developed more slowly than the other children. The findings were reported in the journal JAMA Pediatrics. Temporal
3、lobes and gray matter are very important brain areas, says researcher Barbara Wolfe. The brain areas are “critical in the sense that they keep developing until individuals are well into theiradolescenceor early 20s, and critical in the sense that they are important for executive function,” she said.
4、Researchers studied brain images of nearly 400 children and young adults. The youngest subjects were four years old. The oldest were 22. Researchers looked for a connection between the persons socioeconomicstatusand his or her test results. On average, young people from poor families had test scores
5、 between three and four points below what is expected for their age group. The poorest students scored between eight and 10 points below the developmental norm. Ms. Wolfe says there are several reasons why poorer students often have lower scores. One reason could be poor children do not get the food
6、 they need for healthy development. Poor parents are less likely tostimulatetheir children s brains through talk, play, and activities. Ms. Wolfe also blames the “stress that parents face in trying to deal with poverty, putting food on the table.” The researchers say that up to 20 percent of theachi
7、evement gap, or difference in test performance, could be tied to poverty.Ms. Wolfe suggests early action may improve the brain development of children living in poverty. Reaching out to children when they are very young could help raise their test scores and academic performance when they are older.
8、 【思维路径】核心内容 这是一篇说明文，全文共分五段。第一段提出本文的主题：据研究，贫困家庭的孩子比家庭经济条件好的孩子学业表现差。第二段介绍了导致这一差异的生理原因。第三段通过具体研究数字证明论点的可信度。第四段提出了穷学生分数低的其它几个原因。第五段是研究者对此提出的建议，即通过早期行动改善贫困儿童的大脑发育。写作思路(1)理清文章脉络、概括段落大意。理清文章脉络、概括段落大意是写摘要的基础，同学们可以通过找主题句、分析段落的逻辑关系来梳理文章的脉络，概括大意。第一段的主题句是children from poor families have more difficulty in schoo
9、l than other boys and girls；第二段的主题句是American reserachers may have found a biological reason for that difference；第三段的主题句是Researchers looked for a connection between the persons socioeconomic status and his or her test results；第四段的主题句是There are several reasons why poorer students often have have lower
10、 scores；第五段的主题句式Early action may improve the brain development of children living in poverty。(2)确定表达要点、灵活准确表达。每段的段落大意都是我们要表达的要点，这可以确保不漏点。本文的摘要要把全文第一句作为一个要点，因为它是全文的逻辑起点。在确定表达要点后要思考如何准确灵活表达，这是难点。因为评分标准要求完全使用自己的语言。灵活表达的重要技巧是对原来的语言进行同义替换(paraphrase)，同时要对相关内容进行整合。本文的摘要把全文第一句作为要点，因为它是全文的中心，也是全文的逻辑起点。根据评分标
11、准要求，我们需要对其进行同义替换。同义替换可以从原句的结构进行分析。如本句的基本结构是morethan，我们可以替换为lessthan, not as as 等。要点2在于把造成这一差异的生理原因(biological reason)说清楚，因此我们需要进行准确的概括。要点3用实验中的具体数据值佐证作者观点的真实性。因此，要点1和3具有相关性，我们可以通过调整顺序使缩写更具逻辑性。要点4是学习差异的家庭原因，由于要点2也是造成学习差异的原因，我们需要把要点2，4进行整合。要点5是专家提出的可行性建议，可用propose，advise等词替换原文中的suggest。参考范文Recently, a
12、 study reveals the link between a childs socioeconomic background and his academic behavior(要点3), that is, poorer students usually have lower scores than those from richer families(要点1). Less gray matter in their brain may contribute to their learning disability(要点2). Besides, family pressure, food
13、shortage and lack of stimulus also account for it(要点4). Fortunately, it is proposed that early action is likely to promote the barin development of those poor students(要点5). 范文解析 范文中用background替换了status, link替换了connection, poor students替换了children living in poverty。要点1,3陈述事实，要点1是要点3的进一步解释，因此用that is
14、作为连接。要点2,4都是贫困学生成绩差的原因，要点2是生理原因，要点4是家庭原因，中间用besides连接，表示补充说明。要点5是建议，用fortunately表示这是一个好消息。五个要点以事实、原因、建议的内在逻辑重新组合，使之结构清晰、简洁明了。提炼归纳1. 语义转换语义转换是新题型概要写作中很重要的一项基本技能，因为评价标准对“使用自己的语言进行观点的独立表达”有较高的要求。语义转换即包括简单的对词汇的转换，如用connection替换了link，把stress改为pressure等。语义转换也包括对结构的转换，如把Early action may improve the brain d
15、evelopment of children living in poverty转换为The brain development of those who suffer from poverty is likely to be realised through early action等。这样做可以避免重复原文内容，使语言表达更加多样化。2. 要点整合为了达到概要写作规定的字数，在准确梳理原文要点的基础上，我们需要对原文的观点进行必要的整合，可以帮助我们更简洁、有效地表达。范文中，没有根据文章原有顺序进行缩写，而是根据其内在的联系进行了要点整合。根据原文，要点1和要点3都是陈述事实，因此把这两
16、点整合在一起。要点2和要点4都是贫困学生成绩差的原因，因此也进行了整合。通过调整顺序和结构，使得范文按照事实、原因、建议的内在逻辑重新组合，从而达到了结构清晰、语言简洁的效果。【写作演练】1.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。CLEAN UP YOUR BUTTS AND BAGSAll sorts of items become litter, but two of the most common and most dangerous are cigarette butts and plastic bags. Litter is a big problem for our
17、environment, but it is a problem that individuals can easily do something about. Not littering at all or cleaning up litter, such as cigarette butts and plastic bags, greatly improves the quality of our environment.Although cigarette butts are small, they are bad for the environment. Over 1,600 bill
18、ion cigarettes are smoked each year in China and large quantities of the butts are thrown away. Worldwide, about 4.5 trillion butts are littered every year. Apart from the fact that butts spoil the beauty of the environment, they contain some very toxic chemicals. These find their way into the water
19、 supply where they decrease the quality of the water and endanger plants and animals that live there. Because there are so many butts and because they can take up to 5 years to break down, the toxic chemicals add up to a large amount. So, if people have to smoke, they should not throw away the butts
20、 but put them in the rubbish bin instead.Plastic bags are another common form of litter that is a danger to the environment. There are several reasons for this. They are made from oil and gas, which are non-renewable resources, if they are not recycled, these resources are lost to us. In China, 2 bi
21、llion plastic bags are used every day. An enormous number of these become litter. This is a huge problem because they last from 20 to 1,000 years in the environment. They float easily in air and water and travel long distances. They find their way to rivers, parks, beaches and oceans. Plastic bags k
22、ill up to one million seabirds, 100,000 sea mammals and countless fish each year worldwide. When the animal dies and breaks down, the plastic bag can become free again to kill another animal. It is up to people not to let plastic bags become litter. It would be better if they used fewer and recycled
23、 them.Cleaning up your cigarette butts and plastic bags would improve the environment. The earth would be a better place because it would be less polluted. And we would know that we were doing something to look after our planet. However, I believe the best solution would be not to smoke or use plast
24、ic bags at all._2.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。We live in a technological society where most goods are mass-produced by unskilled labor. Because of this, most people think that craft (手艺) no longer exists. One of the ways these people wrongly support their view is by pointing to 100-year-old homes whic
25、h are still solid, and arguing that it is the craftsmanship that is responsible for their durability (持久性). “Homes in those days were well-built,” they say. There is no doubt that these homes were well-built, but what these people have done is mix up the quality of material used in the house with th
26、e quality of the craftsmanship.Homes today could be built to last just as long as those old homes if people were willing or able to pay the price. For example, more people can no longer afford solid oak stairways, although they were once fairly common in older homes. Nor can they afford the high lab
27、or cost of employing a carpenter to build the stairway. Yet if someone can pay the high cost, there are still plenty of carpenters around able to make those stairways. And not only would these carpenters know how to build them, they would probably do a better job than carpenters of old.One thing the
28、 modern carpenter has which enables him to do a better job is much more advanced tools. Such tools as laser beams and power planes help them lay out a house better and make more precision cuts (精确切割) on the wood. Also, it is not uncommon any more to find carpenters with college degrees and carpenter
29、s with a solid knowledge of mathematics, which would enable them to deal with more difficult house designs.The problem of modern quality, then, really boils down to the problem of material, for the modern carpenter is just as able to produce craftsmanship as the carpenter of fifty years ago, but onl
30、y if given proper material._3.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Getting up early has been regarded as a good habit since ancient times. Many years ago, people thought that if we went to bed early and got up early, we would be energetic the whole day. So, getting up early is of great importance to us all.In
31、fact, morning is the best time of a day. In the morning, the air is the freshest and people are usually in the best condition. Many of us may have the experiences that we memorize some things more quickly and correctly in the morning than at any other time of the day. And it is certain that we find
32、it easier to understand what we learn in the morning. If we get up early and do some morning exercise or only take a short walk in the morning, without doubt we can build up our bodies and become much healthier. Also we will have enough time to make a plan and get ready for our work or study of the
33、day if we get up early. For example, if everyone in the family gets up early, wives will have enough time to prepare the breakfast for the whole family; children will have enough time to catch the school bus, and husbands will never forget to change their dirty shirt. Everything will be in order. Ho
34、wever, if we get up late, well probably have to do everything in a hurry.Let us remember getting up early is a good habit and try our best to keep it. Late risers may find it difficult to form the habit of getting up early. They have to make an effort to do so. If we stick to getting up early every
35、day, we will certainly benefit a lot from it._4.阅读短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。The way of Chinese peoples life has been changed through the Chinas “New Four Great Inventions”. What are “New Four Great Inventions”? They are High-speed rail, Shared bike, Online shopping and AliPay.What did the Chinas “New Fo
36、ur Great Inventions” bring to us?High-speed railModern transportation makes everybody neighbors. The invention of the high-speed railway makes it easy to thousands of miles a day. Today Chinas rail transit technology is the best, the Chinas daily average of 4, 000 trains, sending about 4.6 million p
37、assengers.Shared bikeShort walks become more convenient and faster, and carbon missions are reduced, which is friendly to the environment. You can download the APP about shared bikes, pay some money, then you can use bicycles everywhere in the street. The Chinese shared bicycle programs have been be
38、coming more and more popular.Online shoppingDont need to go out to find the needs for living. Online shopping, as the name implies, is to pay money online. Purchases(购买物) can be sent home. China has 751 million internet users, 724 million mobile phone users; total transactions (销售额) on November 11 a
39、nd December 12 hit a record high every year. Online shopping lets Chinese internet users enjoy “shopping carnival” every day.AlipayA software which can replace cash payment. With intelligence phones popularization, AliPay has become an indispensable (不可或缺的) APP. Through scanning the “QR code”, AliPa
40、y wants to realize the ambition of “replacing cash payments” gradually. On 11 November 2018, both the mobile payment account and the transaction reached 213.5 billion.There is no doubt that China has already used its own power of “New Four Great Inventions” to become the great powerful technological
41、 country, showing the power of China once again._5.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。When the pandemic started, some people were wondering if the internet could stand up to the rise in demand. The answer is not only a clear “yes” but this whole period made it even stronger.How would our world survive withou
42、t Internet in pandemic situation? The answer is simple: differently but not better or worse. We know that the internet available is changing a lot of things. Thanks to it, people were able to keep on working from their home, others were able to keep contact with their loved ones and friends and most
43、 found their entertainment relief through it. Had it not ever existed, people would have stayed at home and enjoyed their family or created more since they would have had more time on their hands.But in todays world, the internet has become the one link that unites us all. It is the reason why peopl
44、e were able to forget for minutes and hours at a time through the use of Internet. It is the reason why so many companies will survive and most probably grow stronger afterwards, since they were able to plan through Skype and Zoom. It is the reason why lovers did not fall into full depression, havin
45、g to live away from their partner for a few months, since they were at least able to talk and see each other while sharing moments of their lives. There cannot be any doubts anymore: The internet is the one link that unites us all.In the first three months of this year, internet use has grown by 25%
46、 in most major cities around the world. This number is reflected in the use of various applications and websites. One of the clearest jumps up is the use of video calls. This should not be surprising since it is used both for business and for personal purposes. PC Game stores have also seen a huge increase in their sales during this period. A bit more surprising maybe, is the increase of online
