1、概要写作示例与写作训练5【写作示例】【原文呈现】阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60 词左右的内容概要。In New York City public schools, 176 different languages are spoken among the more than 1 million students. For 160,000 children, English is not their first language. New Yorks Department of Education makes learning better for these students by prov
2、iding dual-language programs. Students are taught in two languages, English and another one, like Chinese or Russian. Math, social studies, science and all other regular courses are taught in both languages. And they learn about the culture of the other country.Milady Baez is Deputy C
3、hancellor(副局长) of English Language Learners and Student Support. She says these dual-language programs will help children succeed in the future. “The jobs of the future require that our students know more than one language. They are going to be traveling abroad, they are going to be communicating wi
4、th people from all over the world. This will open doors for them.”Shuya Zhang teaches a dual language class. She says the program helps children get ready to work with people in other countries. “Look at now-a-days, America started economic relationships with China. Lots of companies have been moved
5、 to China. They need people with the skills with both language skills.”Middle school students might not have jobs on their minds yet. For Kequing Jaing, she likes keeping up her first language, Mandarin. “It makes me, feel that I am home because I can speak in Chinese, learn in Chinese, while learni
6、ng in English. So it makes me feel better and makes me understand more about the task Im learning.” Another student, Anastasia Hudikova, came to the United States when she was 2 years old. She says the Russian-English program keeps her connected to her heritage(传统) and her parents happy. “
7、Theyre really happy about the program that it exists. They are really happy that I can preserve my culture and my language, that I can speak it fluently in school.”The New York schools also offer dual-language programs in seven other languages: Arabic, French, Haitian Creole, Hebrew, Korean, Polish
8、and Spanish. There are plans to add even more languages in the future. (344 words)【思维路径】核心内容 本文是一篇说明文，全文共分五段。第一段主要讲了纽约教育部为了母语非英语的学生能受到更好的教育而提供了双语项目。第二段讲了Milady Baez的观点双语教学有助于学生在未来取得成功。第三段讲了一位双语教学的老师Shuya Zhang的观点双语教学能够让学生们准备好未来与其他国家的人一起合作。第四段讲述了两个学生对双语教学的看法。第五段关于双语教学在纽约的一些学校的现状以及未来的发展。写作思路(1)理清文章脉络、
9、概括段落大意。理清文章脉络、概括段落大意是写摘要的基础，同学们可以通过找主题句、分析段落的逻辑关系来梳理文章的脉络，概括大意。本文采用“呈现现象(Para.1)讲述不同人的看法(Para.2-4)总结(Para.5)”的形式，文章结构比较清晰，相对而言对于文章脉络的梳理比较容易。该文第一段的主题句是“New Yorks Department of Education makes learning better for these students by providing dual-language programs”。第二段的主题句是“She says the program he
10、lps children get ready to work with people in other countries”。第三段的主题句是“She says the program helps children get ready to work with people in other countries”。第四段没有现成的主题句，需要对两位学生的话语的内容进行概括。第五段是对纽约市双语教学现状的总结以及学校对双语教学未来发展的计划。(2)确定表达要点、灵活准确表达。每段的段落大意都是我们要表达的要点，这可以确保不漏点。本文的主要内容是“dual-language programs”，因
11、此可以将第一段的现象描述概括后作为概要的首句。在确定表达要点后要思考如何准确灵活表达，这是难点。因为评分标准要求完全使用自己的语言。灵活表达的重要技巧是对原来的语言进行同义替换(paraphrase)，同时要对相关内容进行整合。第一段包括一个要点，要点1是纽约教育部门为学生提供双语项目来促进他们学习。根据原文所表达的意思，我们可以将原文的主题句换另一种说法来表达，可以使用非谓语“to improve their learning language”，并将“provide”替换成“offer”。要点2,3分别位于文章第二段和第三段，可以抓住“succeed in the future”和“get
12、 ready to work with people in other countries”的主题句，将其结合起来一起概括，可以用“become successful”替换原文中的动词“succeed”，用“people around the world”替换原文中的“people in other countries”。要点4要根据第四段进行概括。主要是从学习者的角度出发，表达双语学习的好处，可以将两个学生所说的话找共同点一起归纳，如用“guarantee the continuous learning ”。要点7可以用被动“be added”来替换原文中的主动“add”。参考范文To im
13、prove their learning, New Yorks Department of Education offers dual-language programs for those students whose first language is not English.(要点1) Dual-language programs will help children work with people around the world and become successful in the future.(要点2,3) In addition, it can guarantee the
14、 continuous learning of their native culture and the practice of their native language, which is beneficial to their development.(要点4)Considering all the benefits, More dual-language programs will be added in the future.(要点5)(76words)范文解析范文把要点1用“to improve their learning”替代原文中的“makes learning better
15、”，并将“provide”用“offer”替代，表达上将对象以定语从句的形式融入到一个句子。要点2,3中用“around the world”替换原文的“in other countries”，用“become successful”替换原文的“succeed”，并且将两者结合起来表达。要点4用“guarantee the continuous learning of their native culture and the practice of their native language”对两个不同国籍和语言的学生的例子和体会概括了。要点5用了被动语态替换了原文中的主动语态，并且根据对全文
16、的理解，用“more dual-language programs”替换了原文的“even more languages”。然后对各要点进行了适当的整合和衔接。要点2,3和4之间用衔接语“in addition”连接，让文本更通顺。要点5是未来的发展，为了让概写更加紧凑，范文中加了个原因状语“considering all the benefits”。提炼归纳 1. 语义转换 语义转换是新题型概要写作中很重要的一项基本技能，因为评价标准对“使用自己的语言进行观点的独立表达”有较高的要求。本范文中主要通过同义词替换达到这一要求，比如“offer”，“around the world”，“beco
17、me success”等词的使用都是为了替换原文中的表达。2. 结构转换除了同义词和同义词组的替换外，我们也可以从从句、非谓、主动被动语态的转换等语法角度进行改写。比如本文中的第一句话，是将原文的句子结构进行了改写，从而同时达到paraphrase和内容整合的要求。【写作演练】1.阅读下面短文, 根据内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Is Fast Fashion Taking Over?The fashion industry has changed significantly in recent years. Traditionally, fashion retailers(零售商) cre
18、ated two clothing collections per year, called seasons. Nowadays, in contrast, they can design and manufacture(生产) clothes in as little as four weeks. Fast Fashion means that the latest designs shown at the fashion shows in Paris, London, New York, and Milan can be coped and sold in shopping malls w
19、ithin a month.The advantages of rapidly changing fashions are clear. Shortening the life cycle of a product means that if a design doesnt sell well within a week, it is taken out of the stores and replaced with a new one. This is good for manufacturers, as it means a greater volume of sales. It is a
20、lso good for customers, who can keep up with fast-moving trends cheaply and who can enjoy finding something new every time they visit the store.However, there are also a number of disadvantages to the fast-fashion approach. Perhaps the biggest concern is the impact of wasted clothes on the environme
21、nt. The low cost of most fast fashion enables shoppers to buy several new sets of clothes each season. This means that huge amounts of clothing are thrown away. Furthermore, with fashions changing so quickly, cotton growers need to produce more cotton more cheaply, and that means using more pesticid
22、es and chemicals. A third problem is the theft of ideas. Fashion houses invest a lot of time and money in new designs, only to see these ideas stolen and copied by fast-fashion companies.In short, these days it seems that the fashion industry is changing almost as fast as the fashion it produces. Wh
23、at do you think of this?_2.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Environmental problems are becoming more and more serious all over the world. For example, cars have made the air unhealthy for people to breathe and poisonous gas is given off by factories. Trees on the hills have been cut down and waste water is
24、 being poured continuously into rivers. Furthermore, wherever we go today, we can find rubbish carelessly disposed(处理).There are different kinds of pollutants, each of which comes from different sources. It is necessary to identify the source of pollution, in order to make a policy to get rid of the
25、m. Different products, processes and activities of our industrialized world together form the major source of pollution.The forms of pollution can be mainly divided into three kindssolids，liquid and gas. These pollutants have greatly damaged our planet and continue to do so. In fact，pollution is thr
26、eatening our existence. The whole ecological balance of the earth is changing. Massive destruction of environment has brought about negative effects and even posed a great threat to mans existence.We must face the situation that exists and take action to solve our environmental problems. For instanc
27、e, new laws must be passed to place strict control over industrial pollution; the public must receive the education about the danger of pollution and raise their awareness of protecting the environment and so on.The earth is our home and we have the duty to take care of it for ourselves and our late
28、r generations. Fortunately, more and more people have realized these problems. Measures have been taken to deal with these situations by the government. And laws have been passed to stop pollution, I hope the problems will be solved in the near future and our home will become better and better._3.概要
29、写作：阅读下文，根据其内容写一篇50-60词胡内容概要。For decades, doctors have warned patients that too much salt can be bad for the heart. Heart attack has long beenconsidered a grown-up problem, but new research suggests that salt is starting to affect children. Eating too much salty food when youre young can lead to heal
30、th problems later.Salt is made up of two elements: sodium andchlorine. Dietary guidelines recommend that adults and kids aged 9-13 shouldnt consume more than about a teaspoon of sodium daily. The average American eats twice this amount.This worries doctors because too much sodium results in the body
31、 producing more blood. To pump the extra blood, the heart has to work harder. This causes a rise in blood pressure-a measurement of how stressed the heart is. High blood pressure often leads to heart disease.A kid with high blood pressure is more likely to become a grown-up with high blood pressure.
32、 Reducing salt might also help stop childhood obesity. British researchers recently found that kids who eat less salt also drink fewer sugary soft drinks. Drinking fewer fizzy drinks makes kids less likely to gain weight, become obese and develop high bloodpressure.Salt can affect more than just you
33、r heart and weight. A recent study found that a growing number of kids in theUSaresuffering from kidney stones. This painful condition usually affects people aged over 40. Now, kids as young as five are getting it.Cutting down on salt can be hard, but you can retrain yourself to prefer less salty fo
34、od. The best way to reduce the amount of sodium you eat is to make changes gradually. Start by adding half as much salt to your dinner as you normally do. Switch to fresh foods instead of canned and bottled versions. And go easy on the condiments. You might also want to start reading nutrition label
35、s. You may be surprised to learn that there are1,150 mg of sodium in a double cheeseburger, and over 2,000 mg in many frozen meals._4.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Choosing the right college can be a difficult task. There are thousands of colleges and universities for you to choose from and many are wor
36、thy of being considered. For each potential college, find out the success rate of students' getting their jobs, especially those related to your majors. Here are some strategies(策略)for you to make the right choice.Colleges which offer practice in some of the fields are worthy of your attention.
37、It can provide you with a large amount of information on job hunting. Companies often prefer employees that perform well. Practice gives you the valuable experience and necessary opportunities. Some practical skills that you learn will really prepare yourself for the certain jobs. Besides, choosing
38、a college that has teacher members with good reputations in their fields can also be very useful since these teacher members can provide you with steps into the working world by practice.School rankings and a national reputation of academic success are often the important factors(因素)for your potenti
39、al employers. This type of information can be found easily on the Internet and in magazines. To the employers, graduates from high ranking colleges are often considered more reliable. They have a stronger ability to learn and are more likely to create wealth for the company. Sometimes it can even be
40、 a more important factor in looking for a job than the actual quality of education the college provides.After narrowing down your choices to a few colleges, it's time to visit them. Taking a look at the campus(校园)can change your attitude to a particular school. Plan your tour and then do some re
41、search on your own. It is also important to talk to as many students as you can and find out if earning a degree from the school is helpful in getting a job. Meanwhile, you can speak to the students in the majors you're considering to know what the courses are like, what you'll learn, and wh
42、at your expected outcome will be._5.阅读下面短文，根据其内容写一篇60词左右的内容概要。Artificial intelligence(AI)teachers can provide customized teaching for students to meet their unique requirements through analyzing data and deep learning.In the future, they may replace human teachers for basic teaching tasks.Since some
43、 students may find it and put new power into traditional teaching patterns.An educational system providing customized teaching centered on students represents the future trend of AI education.China's AI education has developed rapidly in recent years with the rise of several thousand relevant co
44、mpanies.Currently,AI teachers are able to help students leamn pronunciation,analyze their condition,guide them to learn independently,and even grade writing assignments. Some foreign AI educational systems have been introduced into several domestic schools and have worked well on trial.However,the p
45、romotion of AI education is still facing several difficulties in practice such as low technological levels,inadequacy of data and lack of funds.AI education still depends largely on human teachers' work.Most importantly,it conflicts with current educational patterns because the courses developed by foreign countries are not suitable for Chinese exam-oriented education.Teachers may also find it hard to change their original roles in classrooms since easing control on classes may make them seem irrespo
