1、读后续写示例与写作训练6【写作示例】【原文呈现】阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。Wearing the thin sneakers with a few holes, Bobby was getting cold. He had been sitting out in his back yard in the snow for almost an hour, thinking. Try as he might, he could not come up with an idea for his mothers Christmas gift. He shook his
2、 head as he thought, “Even if I do come up with an idea, I dont have any money.”His father passed away three years ago, and the small salary that his mother was earning could hardly make ends meet. Although the family lacked money and material things, they lived with love. Bobby had three sisters, w
3、ho ran the household in their mothers absence. All of them had made beautiful gifts for their mother. Frustratingly, he had nothing, and it was Christmas Eve already. Wiping a tear from his eye, Bobby started to walk down to the street. He walked from shop to shop, looking into each decorated window
4、. Everything seemed so beautiful and so out of reach. It was starting to get dark and Bobby unwillingly turned to walk home when suddenly he caught sight of something shining on the ground. He reached down and discovered a shiny dime.Never before had anyone felt so wealthy as Bobby felt at that mome
5、nt. However, his excitement quickly turned cold when he was told that he could not buy anything with only ten cents.Suddenly the flowers in a shop caught his eye, and he went inside. Bobby presented the dime and asked if he could buy a flower for his mothers Christmas gift. The shop owner looked at
6、Bobby and his ten cents offering. Then he put his hand on Bobbys shoulder and said to him, “You just wait here and Ill see what I can do for you.”As Bobby waited in the shop, he looked at the beautiful flowers and even though he was a boy, he could see why mothers and girls liked flowers.The last cu
7、stomers leaving brought Bobby back to reality. Bobby began to feel lonely and anxious. (341 words)注意：1. 所续写短文的词数应为150左右；2. 应使用5个以上短文标有下划线的关键词语；3. 续写部分分为两段，每段的开头语以为你写好；4. 续写完成后，请用下划线标出你所使用的关键词。Paragraph 1: After whatseemedanage, the shop owner came out._Paragraph 2: “Could this be true?”thought Bobby
8、._【思维路径】核心内容 文本主要内容为：一个身无分文的贫穷的小男孩想给妈妈准备一份圣诞礼物。他意外地在街上拾到一枚十美分硬币，可是很快就被告知十美分买不了任何东西。之后他走进了一家花店，询问能不能用硬币买一枝花，老板让他等一会，去看看能为他做点什么。店里最后一位客人的离开将他拉回了现实，他开始感到孤单和惶恐。写作思路(1)明确故事人物关系(characters)。故事中主要人物为小男孩Bobby和花店老板。(2)理清故事主要事件(events)。想为妈妈准备一份圣诞礼物的小男孩带着十美分的硬币走近了一家花店，询问是否可以买一支花，花店老板让他在店里等一会儿。(3)根据已知人物、事件及续写段落
9、首句预测故事发展(development)。故事总体的发展应该是过了许久花店老板才从里面走出来，然后他所做的事情使小男孩感到难以置信。结合上文中花店老板对小男孩热情关怀的态度，和小男孩的请求，可以预测或许花店老板为小男孩准备了一束价值远远超过十美分的一束美丽的鲜花，因此小男孩有种不真实感。续写第一段：花店老板出来时，手里拿着一束包装好的美丽的鲜花，并且告诉Bobby这束花的价格正好是10美分。续写第二段： Bobby被吓到了，怀疑这不是事实。花店老板用善意的谎言骗小男孩说这些花正好在促销，他手上的钱正好够付；或者向他解释这是圣诞老人准备好放在他店里并且告诉他会有一个拿着十美分硬币的小男孩来买。
10、最后Bobby开心地付了钱，接过花，回家去了。(4)结合下划线词罗列写作要点(points)。结合下划线词和文本内容花店老板走了出来以及Bobby的不真实感，展开尽可能丰富的想象，罗列出尽可能多的故事发展情节。例如，第一段可以通过问以下问题来获取写作要点“What did the shop owner do for Bobby? Did he get the little boy some flowers? What did the flowers look like? Whats the price?等”；第二段可以问以下问题来获取写作要点：“Why did Bobby feel it wa
11、s untrue? How did the shop owner explain to him? Did Bobby believe? Did he get the Christmas gift for his mather? How would he feel?等”。参考范文After whatseemedanage, the shop owner came out. There, in his hands, lying twelve long stem, red roses, with leaves of green and tiny white flowers all tied toge
12、ther. Bobbys heart sank as the owner placed them gently into a long white box. “That will be ten cents, young man.” the shop owner said, reaching out his hand for the dime. “Could this be true?”thought Bobby. No one else would give him anything for his dime! Sensing the boys hesitatation, the shop o
13、wner added, “I just happened to have some roses on sale for ten cents a dozen. Would you like to buy them?” This time Bobby did not hesitate. He moved his hand to give the man his dime, and when the man placed the long box into his hands, Bobby knew it was true. Having these flowers for his mothers
14、Christmas gift, Bobby was more than happy. Walking out of the shop, he heard the shop keeper say, “Merry Christmas!” (154 words)范文解析范文围绕文章的内容进行了合情合理的拓展。花店老板拍拍小男孩的肩膀让他等一会可以看出他对小男孩的态度热情友好，并且续写第二段给出的开头是Bobby难以置信的感觉，因此第一段写了花店老板出来后手里拿着一束用绿叶和小白花装饰的玫瑰出来以十美分的价格卖给小男孩。第二段，小男孩感到难以置信，又结合文章前文描述的小男孩热切希望能够送妈妈一份礼物，
15、写了最终小男孩买到了一份圣诞节礼物，而这份礼物就是花店老板提供的这束玫瑰花，中间缺少一个小男孩相信这一事实而接受了十美分买这束花的理由，因此，写花店老板告诉小男孩玫瑰花正好在促销也是符合情理的。提炼归纳1. 有效运用人物心理描写和语言描写推动故事发展在有特定情境和人物对话的故事续写过程中，要通过对故事主要人物的动作描写和语言描写来推动故事的发展。例如范文中我们用了“Bobbys heart sank”，“This time Bobby did not hesitate”两处描写表现了知道事实前后Bobby的心理变化；而结尾中花店老板的语言描写不仅切合了他善良友好的性格特点，又推动了故事的发展。
16、2. 巧用非谓语动词，使语言更自然地道在具体的写作过程中，除了让故事发展合情合理，我们还可以考虑使用一些表达技巧使文本更加连贯，语言更加地道。例如，在范文中，我们用了多处非谓语动词结构，如“There, in his hands, lying twelve long stem, red roses ”，“, reaching out his hand”，“Sensing the boys hesitation”等。【写作演练】1.阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。The doctors sent my mother home t
17、o die. As a fifteen-year survivor of breast cancer, she had suffered two heart attacks when advanced cancer was found in her lung. The doctor told me sadly, She has a few days, maybe a week. Her heart is weak and unstable. Mom had struggled to raise three daughters while holding a full-time job, yet
18、 worked hard to maintain a warm home for her family. My plan for Moms final days was simple: she would live with love, and die with grace.I took mother to my home, small but comfortable, which was a heaven to four cats and a dog. The animals had the run of my house. We equipped the bedroom with an e
19、lectric hospital bed and an oxygen machine, which frightened the cats. Id moved their furniture and the cats were annoyed. The dog, on the other hand, an immature dog with bad habits, was excited by all the changes in the house. He jumped up, barking. He is Otto who was not afraid of the hospital be
20、d, the oxygen machine or the medical smells. Nor was he afraid of the weak woman who had scolded him. Otto jumped onto the foot of Moms hospital bed, and stayed. With the exception of eating and using the litter box, Otto never left Moms room.Days passed and Mom started to rally. “Not unusual,” I wa
21、s told, “a rally is often a sign of imminent death(回光返照)” I was heart-broken. But Otto would not give her up so easily. He used her improved condition to reposition himself from the foot of her bed to her side. Her thin fingers found his soft coat. He leaned into her body, as if holding tight the st
22、rings of her will to live. Though weak, she petted the dog and would not allowed me to take him. Days turned into weeks and Mom continued to fight.Paragraph 1Once, after the nurses had gone for the day, I heard the sound of Moms voice coming from her room. _Paragraph 2Three years later, Mom together
23、 with Otto is still here, medicines and nurses long gone. _ _2.阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。There was something in the elderly womans grace that caught my eye. Although slow and unsure of her steps, the woman moved with deliberation(从容), and there was no hesitation in her gestur
24、es.It was a few years ago, and I had taken a part-time holiday-season job in a video store at the local shopping mall. From inside the store, I could see the people outside rushing by.The elderly woman entered the store, along with her daughter, who was displaying a serious case of impatience, rolli
25、ng her eyes, sighing and checking her watch every few seconds. I guessed if she had possessed a rope, she would have fastened it to her mother to drag her along to keep step with the rush of other shoppers.The elderly woman separated from her daughter and began to seek through the DVDs on the neares
26、t shelf. After the slightest hesitation, I walked over and asked if I could help her find something. The woman smiled up at me and showed me a title written on an old piece of paper.Rather than rush off to locate the DVD for the woman, I asked her to walk with me so I could show her where she could
27、find it. Looking back, I thought I wanted to enjoy her company for a moment. Something about her deliberate movements reminded me of my own mother, whod passed away the previous Christmas. I missed my mom and still felt regretful about the moments when Id used my impatience to make her life unhappy.
28、 As we walked along the back of the store, I introduced its floor plan: old television shows, action movies, cartoons, science fiction. The woman seemed glad of the unrushed company and casual conversation.We found the DVD and she thanked me, saying that it was the one shed enjoyed when she was her
29、daughters age. Unwillingly, I accompanied her to the cash register, realizing I had to return the elderly woman to her daughter, who was still tapping her foot at the front of the store.3.阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。续写的词数应为150左右。I like all kinds of chocolate.Mother had bought a bar of it,an
30、d somehow I couldnt stop thinking about it.I was helping Father in the yard when I got the idea that I could cut off the end of that bar of chocolate.Mother would be sure to miss it,but before she had any idea who had done it,I could admit that Id taken it to escape a spanking(挨揍)。I waited until Mot
31、her was out feeding the chickens.Then I told Father I thought Id go in for a drink of water.I got the bar down,but I heard Mother coming just when I had the knife ready to cut.So I slipped the chocolate into the front of my shirt and left quickly.Before I went back to help Father,I went to the barn(
32、谷仓)and hid the chocolate there.All the rest of afternoon,I didnt like to look at Father.Every time he spoke it made me jump.My hands began shaking so much that he asked me what was the matter.I told him it was just that my hands were cold.I knew he didnt believe me,and every time he looked my way my
33、 heart started pounding.I didnt want the chocolate anymore.I wanted a chance to put it back without being caught.I was nearly out to where the cows were when I remembered what Father had said once-some of the family money was mine because I had helped to earn it.Why wouldnt it be all right to figure
34、 the bar of chocolate had been bought with my own money? That seemed to fix everything.But by the time I had the cows headed home,I had begun to worry again.I decided to leave the whole matter to the Lord.I picked up a dried stick and decided I would throw it up into the air and take my orders from
35、the way it landed.If it pointed west.Id take the whole bar back.If it pointed south.Id take half an inch off the end.If it pointed east,Id bought the bar with my own money and it wouldnt be stealing to keep it.I swung the stick as high as I could.When it came down,it pointed mostly west-but a little
36、 south.That night I couldnt sleep.I kept trying to remember how much that stick had really been pointing to the south.Paragraph 1:At last I got up,slipped out into the yard and took the ax(斧头)from the chopping block._Paragraph 2.Then he stood me on my feet and asked if I thought I had deserved the s
37、panking._4.阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。 续写的词数应为150左右。I sat at the breakfast table with my four-year-old son, Matthew, trying to ignore the ache in my stomach. “Mama, want to play?” “Not today, baby,” I shook my head. These days I could barely get out of bed. I was still recovering from a su
38、rgery. I hoped for strength and happiness. But the future seemed so hopeless.Suddenly, Matthew jumped up from his spot on the kitchen floor. “Bird!” he shouted, rushing to our courtyard. Sure enough, there was a white dove seated in a rubber tree. It sat there for a few moments, and then flew away.
39、Strange, Id never seen one in our neighborhood before.When I dragged myself to the kitchen the next morning, the dove was back. This time with a mate carrying twigs. “Look, Matthew,” I said, pointing to the tree. “They re going to make a nest.” The doves flew in and out of the courtyard all week, bu
40、ilding on top of the rubber tree.Matthew could hardly contain his excitement. Every morning, hed run into the kitchen and take his spot by the sliding glass door, talking to the birds while they worked. His enthusiasm was influential. As much as I was grieving, I couldnt help but look forward to the
41、 doves visits too.Then it all went wrong. The courtyard was a safe enough spot for a nest, but the rubber trees broad, thin leaves were far from stable. One night, a strong wind blew, throwing the doves nest to the ground. I heard the twigs break apart.I surveyed the damage. Nothing good ever lasts.
42、 I wouldnt blame the doves if they never came back. But they returned. And they paid no attention to the pile of sticks that had once been their nest.They started again from scratch. Again, though, the wind destroyed all their hard work. The next day, and the next, they renewed their efforts, as if
43、nothing had happened.Paragraph 1:I knew I had to do something. Paragraph 2:“It works! The birds are back!” Matthew announced. 5.阅读下面短文，根据所给情节进行续写，使之构成一个完整的故事。It was a Sunday morning. Betty woke up earlier than usual. She couldnt sleep any longer because she was so excited that her uncle Mark was tak
44、ing her to the beach. She had always loved going surfing with her uncle. She put her swimming suit on and took quickly that she had prepared the night got before and went outside to wait. She jumped up and down with joy when she saw her uncles red jeep turn the corner down her street.Uncle Mark got out of the car and helped Betty get in. “Are you ready?